9.29.2001

Moving on..it doesnt matter to me anymore..
You know at this meeting today. I had to see the weirdest thing, some chick was portraying me and acting like me for this skit. Hella freakie. I think she was to into it tho. Ha we get to perform our skit wednesday night @ youth group. Pretty exciting. I saw the stars tonight with some friends. We saw 2 shooting stars and some weird airplane...when i first saw it i swear it was going around in circles with red and green lights. I think it was just a plane with lights on the front and back. it was a plane i hope..
I dont understand why people think that i like the dude that they are with. Sorry i dont like him. =*)..Shoot. Instead of asking everyone else, why cant you just ask me your self..

ex: "hey..i heard something about you likeing the guy im going out with..do u like him?"
Answer: Honestly..If i did like him i would probly tell you, but since i dont i have nothing to say to you. Can u do something for me though? Dont look at me like you know me or acting like you got the guy i like. kuz I dont like him and i really dont care! happy for you

9.25.2001

i cant stand liars. Stupid ***. Oh what the, you said you wouldnt hurt her. I trusted you kuz your older then me..Dont Promise other people something when you can keep your word. I cant even express how much i cant stand the thought of you. You make me sick. Ha...i think im getting a cold anyway! shoot....watch come around this way..see what happens..imma run your *** over.

9.22.2001

Dedication to my Ading Jessica

From me to you:

Do you remember that one time i told you, about the movie i watched? About how you can tell you a guy likes/loves you? If you dont let me explain..
When a guy/friend looks at you, he doesnt realy pay attenion, or either he stares at you but only in a friendship kinda way. And when they guys who loves you looks at you. He stares deep within yer eyes. He acts as if hes 10 years old opening a christmas present. Hes eyes light up at the fact that he got somthing. and everytime he stares at the present his eyes light up more and more. Get it?


When he looked at you, he couldnt stop smiling. Like he was full of excitement and joy. When he looked at you or even talked to you his eyes lite up. I never saw anyone else look at you that way for such a long time. Wanna know a secret?

the crazy things you'd do for love
You say you cant believe he got you roses? I say i can! He loves you what do u expect? He wants to show you in every single/big way that he wants you to be in his life forever! All the other times when you tried caring for someone, you got nothing in return. I think this is the first time you've showed your emtions/feelings and received something in return. I love you girl with all my heart. Just knowing that your happy can cheer my days up.
im posting this for a certain reason. I know barly anyone knows this page. For once imma write my full feelings and emotions without having anyone worry about why, how, or when did i start to feel this way.

Not to long ago i tried my hardest to get the thought of not being with you or not having you, out of my mind. I thought it was working. But right now i cant seem to stop thinking of you. The little things you said to me keep playing again and again in my head. I miss you what can i say? I never thought i would feel this way again. I thought i was over you. I guess this feeling in my heart is never gonna go away. At times i may say things or act in ways that doesnt prove the way i feel. I hide how i feel, so now one knows.

I toss and turn at night thinking about the time i had a chance to see you sleeping. I would catch myself waking up thinking that your in front of me, but when i saw you werent there i would miss the times we had together.

Maybe it wasnt real. Or just a 1 sided relationship. I could show or do things to tell you how i feel. It matters to me that i could still feel this way. My hearts broken and i dont think anyone or anything could change that. I miss you..

9.18.2001

wanna tell you that i love you, but i dont know where to start. I wanna wana tell you but now im afriad that you might break my heart. what i thought was so easy now seems so hard to do....pokemon, mistys theme song

9.12.2001

i think this is gonna be short. I havent had the time to write in this much. I've mostly just been written in this group blog. Well..just wanted to say that...73..im out..rachel

9.06.2001

It hurts to love and not be love in return, but it is even more painful to love and never find the courage to let the person know." i like you...i dont love you